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It takes multiple experiences of failures, stumbling over one’s own feet, harsh face plants, terrifying moments, feeling lost, losing people in your life to  understand the idea of appreciation for the joyous times, your stronger moments, love, happiness… to realize you took it all for granted when you did get it, have it, possess it, were loved… the list goes on. Why does it take these kinds of incidents for us to finally see the bigger picture? Or sometimes, unfortunately, for us to continue on being blinded and not learn from our mistakes? Why is that? Is it really our natural instincts that push us forward in life with burdens of regret or the continuation of stupidity because we weren’t brave enough to accept it the first time? It seems to me it is this inevitable, terrible cycle that makes little sense because we simply say, “I didn’t get it the first time, okay?” and then it’s back to not getting it again and again. If in everything we did, we could use one statement to brush it off, clean it up, explain it, we wouldn’t have much of a life. Life would simply just lose its meaning in general – you could pretty much live vicariously through reading books and movies.

I don’t want to live knowing that I keep messing up and that I still haven’t grasped some sort of growth. Strangely enough cooking has shown me that. This experience and progression of each meal, each new dessert, recording my thoughts, expressing my successes and failures to some unknown audience has taught me something bigger than just not substituting one item for the other. It’s taught me that we’re given chances, opportunities, perfect “times,” to do things, and sometimes, we mess up, we miss these gifts, and either we can lose it all together and stay on the ground feeling sorry for ourselves, or we can pick ourselves up and realize there’s a lesson to be learned and move on. Life is like a cooking – you’re given suggested directions, ingredients (i.e. the norm, right versus wrong, etc.) and what you do with these is what changes the outcome. Sometimes you get it on the first try, sometimes it takes ten times – either way, you have to learn to appreciate it when you get it, when you don’t, when you fall, and when you get up again.

Appreciation.

For life, for love, for failure, for success, for everything.

Life’s lessons are all cliches – but they’re only cliches cause everyone knows them but no one really gets them.

A need for balance. A need for a little salt on the wound and then a piece of chocolate to tell you – “it’s okay.”
Cheers to knowing that at least you get some reward.

The How-To (Most importantly!)

Fried Egg and Vegetables:
Half a tomato
2 eggs
A dash of salt and pepper
Green onions
Cilantro (optional)
Green beans (optional)
Boston lettuce (optional)
Tofu (optional)
Vegetable oil (or whatever you prefer)

Beat eggs. Stir in cilantro and green onions. Set aside.
Dice up tomatoes and whatever other vegetables you’d like and place into a small bowl. (I like being extra healthy and getting my share of vegetables for the day. I’ve also tried it with just tofu and tomatoes – so whatever your taste buds desire)
Pour a small spoonful of oil onto skillet. Heat up skillet and then pour egg mixture onto it.
Add in the other vegetables – mix everything evenly together.
Fry the egg until it is a nice golden color – it takes up to 3-5 minutes.
Add a bit of salt and pepper – depends on how you like it 🙂
Ready to eat!

(I give very casual directions, so if it doesn’t work out the way you want it I always like googling different recipes – i.e. Cooks.com)

Costco Fish – Ahi Tuna
Buy it from Costco, remove from packaging, prepare a foil-wrapped tray, preheat oven to about 350 degrees and then leave the sauce on the fish and leave it in in the oven for about 15-18 minutes (Only if you took it out of the freezer) – I’m not really sure what the actual directions say, but this has worked out for me 🙂

Chocolate chip/ butterscotch cookies >> I used the Nestle Toll House Recipe except for a few things:
Instead of 1 cup of butter – I used a little less than 1/2 cup (about 6 tbsp) and poured in a little bit of either fat-free or lowfat milk – it’s up to you.
Sometimes instead of using 2 eggs – I use 1 egg and a cup of applesauce -or- 1 egg and a cup of water (It tastes just as good I promise!) – the results may vary depend on how you mix everything together. Also, I will warn you that the batter might be a little more watery than usual.
Also, I used 1/2 a cup of chocolate chips and 1/2 a cup of butterscotch chips – I absolutely loved the mix of the two.
Finally, if you like a stronger taste of vanilla – add just a tiny bit more vanilla extract to give it hint more of that taste and the smell!

Alright, lovelies!

See you all again tomorrow 🙂
And here, I leave you with another video of my recent writings:

Standing As One

Trust me, not in spontaneity,
But of the utmost sincerity,
From the valleys of your heart,
The only depths that will understand,
Because here I am,
Standing as one.

Allow me, not in reluctance,
But in reassurance,
Send me, not in fear and hesitance,
But in joy and acceptance,
That I am and that I will be
Standing as one.

One, whose hands will not forget
Every step, every time, every word of guidance.
One, whose two feet will probably stand
Because they once were grounded in your strength.
One, whose mind will succeed
With the encouragement instilled.
One, whose heart will boldly love
In likeness to the heart that mended the broken pieces.

For you,
I am forever
Standing as one.


Hold My Last.

Even with the sun setting,
Quieting winds dancing,
Winged creations fleeting,
The newborn flame can still burn,
One last time.

Even when the steps lengthen,
Time impatiently grows,
Conversations, in meaning, lose,
Please triumph this day,
One last time.

Even as hills become mountains,
As each star shoots further away,
As the clouds become the only cover,
Leave me in my strength,
One last time.

Even when the fact breaks the emotion,
The reason wins the heart,
The last word replaces every explanation,
Let me hold my last everything,
One last time.

Even if tomorrow sweeps you off your feet,
Today is forgotten or stored away,
Yesterday only the lingering fragrance of simplicity,
Remember my hands, even if it is,
One last time.

Written by Ainsley

Thanks for stopping by 🙂